· im · wish

stay updated

subscribe to updates
by RSS feed or by email
read_me.gif Southern Voice Washington Blade


It really did sneak up on me

by j. brotherlove


Don’t you think I’m looking older?
But something good has happened to me
Change is a stranger
Who never seems to show

- “Older”
George Michael

I’m thinking of driving up to South Carolina and visiting my parents, soon. I see them about once every three months. I love reconnecting with them. However, I’ve noticed that each time I see them, I notice new signs of their aging and the reality that someday (sooner than I can anticipate), they will not be with me. That’s a sobering feeling.

Recently, I had a date with an intelligent, sexy and funny guy. No word yet on the future of that. For one thing, I am still working on clarifying my past, to be honest. Also, I vacillate between wanting companionship and wanting to be left the hell alone. Is that normal? Anyway, while describing my date to Prime I mentioned “he’s an older guy”. And then it hit me. “Wait a minute; no he’s not! He’s 40.” Apparently, I don’t remember that my 30s are nearly behind me. What’s more, I’m not even sure how old I think I am.

This aging thing is interesting, to say the least. Overall, I’m proud of my age. But, it really did sneak up on me. Before I knew it, joints started cracking, hair appeared in odd places and fat refused to move without an act of Congress. Also, my fondness for sleep has drastically increased (mmmm…. sleep). Yet, I don’t feel like what I thought it felt to be my age. I attribute a part of that to a small change in perception of what it means to be over 40.

Happy Older Americans Month!

pub: 04/30/2006 | previous entry | next entry | feedback x 2 | subscribe

Nothing wrong with growing older. Consider the alternative.

Some middle-aged ad executive has recently written, “40 is the new 30.” (He was probably trying to screw someone who just turned 20!)

I’m not complaining about growing older; it’s a wonderful blessing. I’m more so addressing that I haven’t really acknowledged I am getting older on a deeper level. For the longest, I’ve looked forward to turning 40. But now that it’s almost here, it doesn’t feel as fabulous as I thought it would. It just feels… well, old.

I just need to get out of my rut. I firmly believe in “40 is the new 30” (attribute that to my marketing background or wishful thinking). And I am thankful I live in a city and socialize in circles where the 35-plus crowd is visible, sexy and influential. But I gotta play to win.